


So Nervous!

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Swearing, all in the same school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2393606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cast the first stone who doesn't have a mini heart attack while trying with the person you like. Especially when the person you like is an untouchable angel from heaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Nervous!

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt I saw on tumblr. This is my first time writing something in English, which is not my native language. Please, let me know if you see any mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading.

"Hey, Sousuke. How about "I am graduated now and still scared to talk to the guy I like" for your senior quote"

I swear to God I'm trying to not punch him. I'm doing my best, really. But he is not helping me. Since the day that Rin, my supposed best friend, was able to confess his love to his obsession, Nanase from class A, from an insecure shoujo manga girl he became a complete asshole who likes to constantly remind me that he has a boyfriend and I don't.

The biggest problem is: Rin is literally the most embarrassing creature on Earth. I have no idea how I ended up being his friend, to be honest. Since he discovered that Nanase exists, he just hasn't stopped talking about him. I had to endure hours and hours of "Hey, Sousuke, have I already told you about this guy I met? He is so strange! He has a cool attitude and those eyes ... His eyes are clear as water, you know? Nanase, you know? What? I already mentioned him twenty-five times just today? ". I tried to take it, after all they are two men, it's not like Rin could go around talking about his passion to anybody. And he _needed_ to talk.

I kind of understood how he felt. Well... not about the talking part. I felt no need to talk about my love life with anyone, not even Rin. I just ... Well, I felt more or less the same way about our classmate, Tachibana. I also thought about embarrassing things about the color of his eyes, even if just kept in my head.

In the end, Rin and I were more or less in the same boat. And even if I did not say anything, he seemed to figure it out by himself I was not as straight as I let others believe. Well, we are best friends since childhood after all. Yes, I was a little shocked when, after a really long monologue about Haruka Nanase, Rin just asked me "Hey, Sousuke, what about you and Tachibana?" But then I reflected about it... Even if he didn't know me well, he's still a shoujo manga princess. With the embarrassing obsession that he has about romance, it's not so surprising that he noticed.

But Rin broke all the shoujo laws that guided his life and stopped to wait for his Prince Charming to come and get him. He confessed. To my complete surprise, Nanase liked Rin back. And they began to date. I thought it was going to be okay after that. But then Rin was dating a boy. And he could not go spreading it around. And Rin _needed_  to brag about his boyfriend to one of the few people who knows that he has a boyfriend: me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a completely passive person. I ended up telling Rin to shut up about Nanase because, unlike him, I was not even a bit interested in knowing about Nanase. Damn, I was starting to hate the guy and I had not even spoken to him. Only that telling Rin to shut up was also not a good idea because it made him think that I was jealous since his love life is perfect and mine is terrible.

I mean... Yes, I'm jealous, god damn it, but that's not the case. I didn't want him to be quiet because of envy, but because I couldn't stand to hear his complaints for hours about how he had to compete for his boyfriend's attention with _the pool_. I wanted to tell him that his relationship looked like shit and I didn't understand what he saw in that obnoxious guy, but he looked so happy that I never had the guts to actually do it.

And even worse: after that, Rin decided to "help me" with my crush. Then he teases me about Tachibana whenever he can, and when I ignore it long enough, he finds a way to change the subject Tachibana for the guy who we later discovered to be his best friend... Haruka Nanase.

"Or maybe you should use something more romantic like "My love remained silent, but immutable...""

"Interesting, Rin." I finally retort in scathing tone. "What will be yours? "I end school as a virgin because my boyfriend was unable to take off his swimsuit"?"

And here you see how this telling everything about your boyfriend thing can backfire.

"Hey!" Rin complains, blushing. "Learn to take a joke, man."

_Yeah, it is funny when it's not about you. Your little shit._

"But seriously, Sousuke. When will you confess to Makoto? He is very popular, you know? If you don't hurry up, someone else will take him."

"I know." I grumble and end up sounding more hurt than intended."

I avoid looking Rin in the eyes so he doesn't notice that he hit my weak spot. Yeah, I know that Tachibana is popular, damn it. I don't blame people for liking him since I am completely in love with him. I never even talked to him properly, except when he is the responsible for delivering the prints or for collecting our notebooks. I just can't forget that gentle smile or the quiet tone of his voice. Perhaps this is not even healthy.

I can feel that Rin is still staring at me. I look back at him. He's wearing an expression that I classify as dangerous, something between concern and determination.

"What?" I ask again, bitterly.

Rin presses his lips together and, in a moment of panic, I think he'll start crying. Instead he gets up suddenly.

"Nothing. I just have a thing to do."

"What?" I repeat, genuinely confused. "You aren't going to see Nanase, are you? We are in self-study period, but you are aware that he is having an actual class, aren't you?"

"I'm not going to Haru's class! Wait up, I'll be right back!"

I get a little worried, but I just turn my attention to the book I was trying to read before being interrupted by Rin's meaningless provocations. I can't concentrate anymore.

Around me, nobody gave importance to Rin leaving the class. Some people are talking to each other, others are trying to study in groups or by themselves ... Tachibana is in one of these groups. He smiles and patiently explains the questions to some of his friends. I watch him silently for a while. I could never even be his friend. The year is ending. I wonder where will he go after graduation. I'll probably never see him again.

Whoa, that's pretty depressing.

To be honest, this is the first time I get so nervous about someone. Romantically speaking. I've had a crush or another, but ... it's just that Tachibana is different. He seems to be a kind of unattainable level for me, but even so I get nervous and my heart starts racing just for see him in the hallway.

How pathetic am I?

I make a silly plan. Maybe... just maybe... if I get up and ask him to explain me a question ... I'm sure he wouldn't deny. He is very kind, I know that. But what if I ask a question he doesn't know the answer? This would make him uncomfortable... I could choose an easy question... But then he could start to think that I am a idiot. Even if I find a median question, there is still the risk of sounding like I am giving him an order - I have this bad habit when I get nervous - and scare him.

I lay on my desk and pretend I'm asleep, so I avoid looking at him. I wish for the day to pass faster, then, of course, everything slows down.

Rin comes back to the class after what seem like ages, but he doesn't mess with me. He just sits in his place humming something really happy, which makes me think that he actually went to Nanase's class while he was away. The next class comes and ends, and when Rin informs me that he is going home with his boyfriend after school. I get up without saying anything, nod at him and fix up my things to leave by myself.

I think I'll continue in a bad mood for a long time.

When I go get my shoes, I notice that there is a letter with them. On the envelope, I see my name written in a familiar handwriting. Looks slightly different, as if he had carefully written, but I immediately recognize Rin's caligraphy. Curious about what kind of idiocy is now, I take a look at the contents of the envelope.

"Yamazaki-kun," the letter said "if possible, please come to meet me at our class. There is something I would like to confess to you. Honestly, Makoto Tachibana "

I throw the letter on the floor without thinking twice. That jerk ...! I want to go after him and disrupt his meeting. Maybe tell Nanase he keeps porn under the bed. Or buy real porn, shove it under his bed and show it to everyone. I _do not_ believe the asshole tried to make a joke that low.

I throw it on the trash right away. As my wave of fury subsides, I feel worse. Despite this pathetic platonic crush... Well, damn, Rin is my best friend. No one can blame me for feeling hurt for him to throw salt in my wounds like that.

I just decided to ignore Rin. It's not very mature, but the last thing I want is to talk to him. I ignored the texts he sent me, but he doesn't seem to have noticed, which makes me even more annoyed. On the following day in fact, he's so blatantly happy that I'm tempted to throw him out of the window. Meanwhile, Tachibana is behaving weird. I didn't see him hold conversation with any of his friends. He was unusually quiet, as if trying not to draw attention. My paranoid side has the impression that he is avoiding looking in my direction. When lunchtime arrives, he takes his lunch box and rushes out of the class without speaking to anyone. He definitely isn't behaving normally.

"Hey, Sousuke." Rin called, bringing me back to reality. "You've been rather quiet today. Did something happen?"

"Go to hell, Rin."

"Wow!" He raises both hands as if to surrender. "What happened?"

"What happened" I hiss, struggling to keep my voice low enough that the noisy girls having lunch next to us don't listen "was that you went too far. Damn it, Rin, it wasn't funny!"

"But what are you talking about?" Rin looks truly stunned.

"About that stupid letter you put in my shoe locker! Would you actually find it funny if I stayed here waiting for Tachibana, you jerk?"

His expression becomes more confused. His eyes widen.

"What do you mean "if I stayed waiting for Tachibana"? You... You did not?"

"Of course not! I noticed that you wrote that. You think I'm stupid?"

"Oh God... Oh, God, oh, God..." His expression becomes more worried. "But Makoto was here... If you haven't..."

Wait. What.

"What do you mean Tachibana was here?"

"It wasn't a joke! I would never do that! I mean, I put the letter there, but... I also put one in Makoto's shoe locker... I thought that you would meet... When I went out with Haru, I saw that he was waiting for you here, so I thought... Oh, my God."

I stop listening to his words. Because what he is saying is inadmissible. My Tachibana - in my dreams, at least - was waiting for me? He believed that I had left some kind of love letter... That meant he might have accepted me if I...

I get up abruptly and it startles people around me. Rin stops chattering when I grab his wrist and drag him with me.

"Hey, Sousuke!" He exclaims, but ends up coming along.

Some girls let out squeals of surprise, but I don't care. I just need to take Rin away. To where aren't this many witnesses. I can not let anyone see while I kill him. I keep walking and dragging him with me. My feet, before I think about it, take me to the terrace. I open the access door with violence and thus we are outdoors, I abruptly let go of Rin's wrist and stare at him.

"You. You sent a love letter to Tachibana. In my name." I start in cold and clear tone.

"Ahr... you see... it was not a love letter. It was just a letter telling him to meet you. I thought that if you met, you'd get in the mood and..."

" _Do you have shit on your brain?_!" I hiss, completely pissed off. "Y _ou made Tachibana wait for nothing! You ass!"_

" _It was not my fault!"_  Rin cries back " _I wrote like Makoto, I didn't expect you to ignore a letter from your beloved Tachibana!"_

"THAT LETTER WAS OBVIOUSLY YOURS, I AM YOUR CLASSMATE SINCE WE WERE KIDS, MORON, I KNOW YOUR HANDWRITING!"

"SORRY FOR TRYING TO HELP YOU TO GET LAID WITH THE GUY YOU LIKED FOR MONTHS, YOU UNGRATEFUL SWINE!"

"I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT TACHIBANA'S BEAUTIFUL FACE ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT, THEN I AM NOT FEELING GRATEFUL AT ALL!"

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Asks a third voice, completely calm, in the background.

Rin and I stop arguing and look around. My eyes stop on the figure of Haruka Nanase, who is standing looking at us with a half-empty lunch box in hand. Apparently he was enjoying his lunch on the terrace before Rin and I came too furious to notice his presence. After all, Nanase doesn't even seem confused by our discussion. His eyes show only annoyance for having his lunch interrupted. Then, just behind him, with a slightly terrified expression, is Makoto Tachibana.

...

_Sousuke Yamazaki. 17 years old. Beloved son. Always tried to be a nice guy. One day became friends with a dumbass guy who lead him to death. Grandma, Grandpa, I'm going to join you._

"Sousuke!" Rin is shaking me, but I dont have the strength to react. I'm dead. "Oh, my God, Haru, why didn't you say anything before? Don't you leave me, Sousuke!"

I _do not_ want to go back. I want to be sent to the moon. I want to disappear and never be seen again. I feel like my face is on fire, but still don't move a finger. I'm just hoping that the death god will come and take me away real soon.

"Makoto." I hear Nanase's deep voice annoyingly calm, but far, far away. "So this is Yamazaki ?"

Part of me is slightly annoyed that he knows my name. And finds it strange that he is asking Tachibana, as if Tachibana, not Rin, had told him something about me. Nevertheless there is a bigger part of me is still waiting to die and doesn't give a damn about what Nanase might be saying. I didn't even hear if Tachibana answered him.

"Sousuke?" Rin insists. "Sousuke, say something, for the love of ... Huh? What is it, Haru?"

"Come on, Rin."

"What? But Sousuke is catatonic!"

"Not my problem. Nor yours. Let's go."

"Hah!? How can you be that insensitive? Hey, Haru ...!"

Rin's hands let go of my shoulders. I blink, confused, and the next thing I see is Tachibana's face. He is flushed and his eyes seem greener than ever. My heart gives a leap, and I feel like my face is getting very red. This is bad. I'm probably making a scary expression, independent of my will. However, Tachibana doesn't seem scared. Embarrassed, definitely, but not like he's scared of me, which is what people usually do.

"Yamazaki." He starts. The way he says my name makes my stomach do a somersault. "What... what you and Rin were saying just now... Is it true?"

His eyes look so green ...! A quiet green as the color of the leaves reflected in the dew. Looking into Tachibana's eyes, I suddenly forget that Rin and I screamed about my awkward feelings a few seconds ago. I forget that I was nervous and wanting to disappear and all that matters to me are those of a green eyes... Suddenly, everything was too much. The feelings I kept dammed, and which I have never spoke about, leaked:

"I like you, Tachibana."

Wait. I said that?

His face is colored with a deeper red. He looks down at his feet. Free of Tachibana's soothing gaze, I wake up from the trance in which I was. I look around. Rin and Nanase are nowhere. We are completely alone. And I just confessed to Makoto Tachibana.

I confessed _to Makoto Tachibana._

 _I_ confessed to Makoto Tachibana.

I have the feeling that I'm about to hyperventilate, then I hold my breath. Tachibana looks up and smiles. My heart stops.

"I... I like you too. Please, go out with me, Yamazaki."

I let my breath out in a rush. Makoto Tachibana has confessed to me. Makoto Tachibana wants to go out with me. I look at those lovely lips curved in a smile, and when I realize, I went ahead and sealed my mouth against his. At least once in life, my nervousness is not present.

 


End file.
